Okay then, I found out that despite hitting the triggers for trying to make a good impression (I wasn’t really doing that, I was being honest) that I was still going to be able to go on through the application process. I had a couple of friends who knew that I was applying for this and had been at the psychological testing. When they asked how it went my response was “I guess I’m crazy enough to be a priest, they say I passed.”
The next step was a little ways away, so I simply kept up on my prayer life, kept working at figuring out how to pay down/pay off my truck, and was enjoying my job and still going through life.
With my personality I normally get excited about any of the major life decisions that I have had (i.e. going to college, joining the air force, buying a house, which job I take, etc…) but a week or two after I make the decision I start to doubt myself, and doubt what I am doing. That doesn’t mean that those decisions were wrong, just that I have a personality that often second guesses myself in major decisions. I was, and still am amazed, that this wasn’t going on. I was truly feeling an incredible amount of peace with the decision to leave my job and enter seminary.
One thing that I was feeling bad about was the fact that I hadn’t yet told my boss that this was going on. I felt deceitful every time that the topic of doing something different next year came up. But I didn’t want to tell him until I knew for sure that I was accepted. I wasn’t going to be one of those people who waits until only two weeks out, but I wanted to know for sure rather than to shoot myself in the foot.
The next step in the process of application was what is called a review board at the Diocese. For most people I would compare it to a panel interview for a job, but it isn’t like there is a limited number of slots. It will be a thumbs up/thumbs down thing on whether or not the Diocese feels that it would be worth it to support me through the seminary process and if I would be a good priest for them later on.
Being me, I of course arrived way too early for the review board. So I sat around chatting with a couple of the people in the office there, while someone else was in on their board.
Finally going into the review board I wasn’t nervous at all. Whatever was going to happen is what was going to happen. On the board was Fr. Hirsch, the assistant vocation director, a religious sister, a lay doctor, a lay woman, and I think there was one other lay man, but I don’t remember for sure.
All the members of the review board had read the materials I submitted and my recommendation letters. I believe that they had read the psychological report, but I don’t know that for sure, the only thing that was asked was if I agreed with what the psychologist had told me the day of my testing. I told them that aside from the idea that I might have been misleading it for making a good impression I agreed with what he had said.
The doctor on the board of course asked about my cancer, what treatments I had been through, and where it was at. I don’t know if this sort of stuff would be normal in a regular interview for most positions, as I’ve never been asked it, but I fully understand and agree that it is necessary for something like this. The priesthood is a life, not a job, so they have to know that it won’t be detrimental to your health to live that life. Also, the diocese incurs an amazing amount of cost to support a man through seminary studies to Ordination, costs paid for from the donations of hard working people, they want to know that it will be worth it to do this. The doctor agreed with what my doctor had said, the type of cancer I had rarely has long term effects on a person.
Probably the only other significant question that was outside of routine was based on a comment in one of the letters of recommendation. One of my friends had written about concerns that I might be “too giving” of myself and not necessarily take care of myself because I was giving so much to others. Although the members of the board didn’t mention his name, I knew who this was because my friend had expressed that concern to me previously. I understand his point, but I think it is tough for a priest to be too giving, if people need help you are supposed to help them. It is true that if the priest is falling apart they aren’t much good to anybody. I think that I have always managed that aspect of myself very well. I can sense when I need to get away for “Adam time”.
In addition to my personal sense of taking care of myself the Church has a lot of that built in. A priest is required by Canon Law to take at least a week of retreat a year. Most Diocese have rules that a priest is entitles to 3 additional weeks of vacation a year if they choose to take it. In addition to time “off” an even bigger way to take care of yourself is of course through prayer. All the priests of the Church are required to pray daily the Divine Office, also known as the Liturgy of the Hours, or the Holy Breviary. This is a series of prayers that are set up to occur at certain times of the day to keep your life focused on Christ. It is based heavily on the Psalms and various other scripture readings. It is set up for six different times of the day. Often priest have to condense down the frequency by praying more than one “hour” at a time (each takes normally 10-15 minutes but would be held at the various hour). There is so many other prayer opportunities that a priest can and should take, especially daily Mass that it builds in time to strengthen yourself.
Wow, this got long. In my next post I will write about my interview with the Diocesan Administrator for the Diocese of La Crosse.
Peace,
Adam
No comments:
Post a Comment