Wow, I knew it had been a while since I had written, I just
didn’t know how long. Since my last post
I have been trying to focus on my own discernment completely, sorry for leaving
off on what I was doing. I have been
trying every possible angle, spiritual and intellectual, to try to understand
what God wants from my life. This post
is not me saying that I have it figured out, but rather that I want to get back
to blogging about this curvy path God is taking me on.
I’ll start by describing a bit of what I have done extra for
the discernment during this time. Most
of this is simply stuff that I have done before, but to a greater extent. I am spending extra time in prayer, focusing
on simply expressing my openness to God, whatever His will might be. I am asking Him to let me know what His will
is. I am praying that the Blessed Mother
ask her Son to let me know, and the other Saints in Heaven. I am looking back at the early posts of this
blog, the ones in which I talked about what got me to this point of applying to
seminary. I am looking at the feedback I
have gotten since being in seminary, both inside myself and from others. This mid-January and early February we had
two things, one a “prayer conference” (basically a retreat in everything but
name) and the other an actual retreat. I
have spent the vast majority of my time during these weeks praying about
discernment. I feel that I am far closer
to a decision than I have ever been, but not close enough to decide, and not
close enough to tell what that decision is looking like, until I know.
Fall semester went well.
Along the lines of discernment, I had one thing that occurred officially
within the seminary. I know that I have
written in the past about the Rite of Admission to Candidacy for Holy
Orders. At Mundelein it was done during
third year theology, so not long before a man is ordained a deacon. Basically what is being said by the man is
that he intends on being a priest, it is no formal commitment, but that is a
big thing to say in front of people in a Church, as an official rite, in my
mind. At St. Paul Seminary Candidacy is
done during first year, and very early on.
However, my bishop wanted me and the one other guy in my class here from
the La Crosse Diocese to do Candidacy in our home Diocese, so we sat out while
our class declared candidacy. We were
scheduled to declare at the Christmas party on December 28th. About a month to a month and a half before
the vocation director, Fr. Wierzba, was coming up and I asked if I could speak
with him about this and when I asked if I could delay even further he was fine
with it, but since the Bishop had come with him, he wanted me to speak with the
Bishop. I was a bit nervous about both
of these meetings. I was afraid that it
might come out that if I was having this level of doubts I should just leave
seminary right away, not something I felt prepared to do. Both meetings went well and my admission to
candidacy is moved to June some time. I
feel that if I am willing to declare at that point I will most likely go all
the way to being a priest, if I am not willing to declare then, I should step
out of seminary.
Other than that, not a lot actually happened during the fall
semester. I really like the teaching
parish program that the St. Paul Seminary has.
I get to go to a parish in Menomonie, WI one weekend a month and then
one or two week days as time allows. It
is nice to get away and deal with a normal parish. I have done lots of little things around
there, simply getting to know the parish.
I think that is all I’m going to write for now. I hope to get back into a fairly regular
every week or two writing again.
Peace,
Adam
Adam
