Goodbye

Hello everyone,

This will be my last post to this blog as I have discerned that I should leave seminary formation for the priesthood.  There are some mixed emotions in this, sadness as I have been on this track for three years, so it is a part of me, but greater joy since I feel that this is what God wants me to do.  I have had very clear answer to my prayers asking God for guidance.  He has made it clear that the priesthood is not the route He wishes me to go at this point.  I say, “at this point” not because I am second guessing the decision, but simply because God works in mysterious ways and I don’t know all of where my life will go.

My time in seminary has been great: I have grown closer to God, learned a lot, and grown into a better man.  If you ever know a man who is considering the seminary and open to the possibility of the priesthood I hope that you will encourage him.  Some of them will go all the way to priesthood, some wont, but all of them will be better for it.

I am sorry that I have not been able to tell everyone of this decision individually.  I am even busier than ever as I am finishing the academic year and still fully involved in the formation process until the day I walk out of here.  I am also job hunting, who knows where God will take me, but I will go wherever I feel Him leading.

I want to take a moment to thank everyone for their support during this process.  Specifically my Bishop, my vocation directors, and my family, but everyone else as well.

Peace,

Adam

March 2013

Hello everyone,

What an incredible month it has been for the Church.  Almost right after I posted the last time Pope Benedict XVI announced that through his prayerful discernment he was going to retire from the papacy.  This is a great example of humility for all of us, the humility which Christ calls us each to.  I find it wonderful when we contrast this with the decision which Pope John Paul II made to stay in office through immense physical suffering and trouble.  I heard it put in a great way, “Pope John Paul II stayed in office to show us how to die with dignity while Pope Benedict XVI left office to show us how to live with humility.”

This past week we had the election of Pope Francis, the first pope from the Americas, the first pope from outside Europe in over 1000 years, the first Jesuit pope, and by all appearances so far a man that will be a great Vicar of Christ.  By now I am sure that everyone has seen and heard of Pope Francis’ life of humility and simplicity.  One thing that isn’t talked about much is his life before the Jesuits.  Pope Francis was raised in a simple family, his father was a rail worker who immigrated to Argentina from Italy.  Pope Francis had gone through school and gotten a master’s degree in chemistry before deciding to enter the Jesuits.  I think that this is going to be a great sign for those who believe falsely that the Catholic Church is against science.  Throughout history many of the greatest scientists were Catholic clergy and this may give people reason to look into what the Church teaches on science rather than simply their own assumptions and false information from whatever source they get it.

As for me, my discernment continues to go well.  I am still praying to God for guidance.  I will say that I believe that I have gotten an answer to this prayer, a very clear answer.  But I am not going to post here what that answer is for a while.  I am working with my spiritual director to be sure of what I think I received.  I will in good time tell you whether this means that I am going to leave seminary or set the question aside. 

My classes are going well.  I have five of them this semester.  I have Christology, studying simply about Christ.  I have Synoptic Gospels, talking about Matthew, Mark and Luke.  I have Church History II from 1000AD to present.  I have Supervised ministry: Pastoral Care which is the companion course for my going out to that teaching parish and we are focusing on care to the sick, suffering, and dying.  My final class in Ministry in the American culture, which is a very broad topic class focusing on issues that are being and will be faced during our lifetimes.

That is enough at this point.  I hope everyone is well and ask you to keep Pope Francis in your prayers.

Peace,

Adam

Early February 2013

Wow, I knew it had been a while since I had written, I just didn’t know how long.  Since my last post I have been trying to focus on my own discernment completely, sorry for leaving off on what I was doing.  I have been trying every possible angle, spiritual and intellectual, to try to understand what God wants from my life.  This post is not me saying that I have it figured out, but rather that I want to get back to blogging about this curvy path God is taking me on.

I’ll start by describing a bit of what I have done extra for the discernment during this time.  Most of this is simply stuff that I have done before, but to a greater extent.  I am spending extra time in prayer, focusing on simply expressing my openness to God, whatever His will might be.  I am asking Him to let me know what His will is.  I am praying that the Blessed Mother ask her Son to let me know, and the other Saints in Heaven.   I am looking back at the early posts of this blog, the ones in which I talked about what got me to this point of applying to seminary.  I am looking at the feedback I have gotten since being in seminary, both inside myself and from others.  This mid-January and early February we had two things, one a “prayer conference” (basically a retreat in everything but name) and the other an actual retreat.  I have spent the vast majority of my time during these weeks praying about discernment.  I feel that I am far closer to a decision than I have ever been, but not close enough to decide, and not close enough to tell what that decision is looking like, until I know.

Fall semester went well.  Along the lines of discernment, I had one thing that occurred officially within the seminary.  I know that I have written in the past about the Rite of Admission to Candidacy for Holy Orders.  At Mundelein it was done during third year theology, so not long before a man is ordained a deacon.  Basically what is being said by the man is that he intends on being a priest, it is no formal commitment, but that is a big thing to say in front of people in a Church, as an official rite, in my mind.  At St. Paul Seminary Candidacy is done during first year, and very early on.  However, my bishop wanted me and the one other guy in my class here from the La Crosse Diocese to do Candidacy in our home Diocese, so we sat out while our class declared candidacy.  We were scheduled to declare at the Christmas party on December 28^th.  About a month to a month and a half before the vocation director, Fr. Wierzba, was coming up and I asked if I could speak with him about this and when I asked if I could delay even further he was fine with it, but since the Bishop had come with him, he wanted me to speak with the Bishop.  I was a bit nervous about both of these meetings.  I was afraid that it might come out that if I was having this level of doubts I should just leave seminary right away, not something I felt prepared to do.  Both meetings went well and my admission to candidacy is moved to June some time.  I feel that if I am willing to declare at that point I will most likely go all the way to being a priest, if I am not willing to declare then, I should step out of seminary.

Other than that, not a lot actually happened during the fall semester.  I really like the teaching parish program that the St. Paul Seminary has.  I get to go to a parish in Menomonie, WI one weekend a month and then one or two week days as time allows.  It is nice to get away and deal with a normal parish.  I have done lots of little things around there, simply getting to know the parish.

I think that is all I’m going to write for now.  I hope to get back into a fairly regular every week or two writing again.

Peace,
Adam