Early February 2013

Wow, I knew it had been a while since I had written, I just didn’t know how long.  Since my last post I have been trying to focus on my own discernment completely, sorry for leaving off on what I was doing.  I have been trying every possible angle, spiritual and intellectual, to try to understand what God wants from my life.  This post is not me saying that I have it figured out, but rather that I want to get back to blogging about this curvy path God is taking me on.

I’ll start by describing a bit of what I have done extra for the discernment during this time.  Most of this is simply stuff that I have done before, but to a greater extent.  I am spending extra time in prayer, focusing on simply expressing my openness to God, whatever His will might be.  I am asking Him to let me know what His will is.  I am praying that the Blessed Mother ask her Son to let me know, and the other Saints in Heaven.   I am looking back at the early posts of this blog, the ones in which I talked about what got me to this point of applying to seminary.  I am looking at the feedback I have gotten since being in seminary, both inside myself and from others.  This mid-January and early February we had two things, one a “prayer conference” (basically a retreat in everything but name) and the other an actual retreat.  I have spent the vast majority of my time during these weeks praying about discernment.  I feel that I am far closer to a decision than I have ever been, but not close enough to decide, and not close enough to tell what that decision is looking like, until I know.

Fall semester went well.  Along the lines of discernment, I had one thing that occurred officially within the seminary.  I know that I have written in the past about the Rite of Admission to Candidacy for Holy Orders.  At Mundelein it was done during third year theology, so not long before a man is ordained a deacon.  Basically what is being said by the man is that he intends on being a priest, it is no formal commitment, but that is a big thing to say in front of people in a Church, as an official rite, in my mind.  At St. Paul Seminary Candidacy is done during first year, and very early on.  However, my bishop wanted me and the one other guy in my class here from the La Crosse Diocese to do Candidacy in our home Diocese, so we sat out while our class declared candidacy.  We were scheduled to declare at the Christmas party on December 28^th.  About a month to a month and a half before the vocation director, Fr. Wierzba, was coming up and I asked if I could speak with him about this and when I asked if I could delay even further he was fine with it, but since the Bishop had come with him, he wanted me to speak with the Bishop.  I was a bit nervous about both of these meetings.  I was afraid that it might come out that if I was having this level of doubts I should just leave seminary right away, not something I felt prepared to do.  Both meetings went well and my admission to candidacy is moved to June some time.  I feel that if I am willing to declare at that point I will most likely go all the way to being a priest, if I am not willing to declare then, I should step out of seminary.

Other than that, not a lot actually happened during the fall semester.  I really like the teaching parish program that the St. Paul Seminary has.  I get to go to a parish in Menomonie, WI one weekend a month and then one or two week days as time allows.  It is nice to get away and deal with a normal parish.  I have done lots of little things around there, simply getting to know the parish.

I think that is all I’m going to write for now.  I hope to get back into a fairly regular every week or two writing again.

Peace,
Adam